I'm...Around
Happy New Year! February! I know you all are wondering where I have been the last two months and well, I can explain. It ain't what you all want to hear but listen, its a start! *Emoji shrug*
I'm in this weird headspace that most 25 (and a half -- yikes!) year olds are probably in; I'm suffering from imposter syndrome, 'Oh God why am I still home attacks', fuckthisjobbutIlovemyjobfluenza, etc. etc. On New Years eve while everyone was making resolutions I was freaking out about what mine would be.
I collaborate with one of the most beautiful souls on the planet; Jackie Sumell. Jackie is an Artist, Professor, Prison Abolitionist, Urban farmer, Mentor, Extended Mother, the list just goes on. Jackie co-authored 'The House that Herman Built' alongside Herman Wallace, Black Panther who was imprisoned in Angola for over four decades. Herman was freed and peacefully went with our ancestors less than a week of his liberation from Angola. The project began when Jackie asked Herman, ' What kind of house does a man who has lived in a six-foot-by-nine-foot-cell for over thirty years dream of?"
From there, Jackie and Herman built his dream house through letters and phone calls. Hermans vision turned into an exhibition shared around the world teaching about the dangers of incarceration, solitary confinement and why we need to abolish prisons. Jackie has also curated Solitary Gardens a project dedicated to combining public art, alternative land use and social sculpture. Solitary Gardens are created with the help of Solitary Gardeners (Imprisoned people that are in solitary confinement) and volunteers on the "outside" that are able to help the Solitary Gardeners visions come true with a garden plot the size of solitary confinement room. The gardens are interactive classrooms for prison abolition curriculum.
By introducing Restorative practices to Jackie, I was afforded the opportunity to not only collaborate with Solitary Gardens but to come speak/work with her class alongside Bilphena Yawon -- many of you know her as Gold Womyn at the Beautiful Dillard University about restorative practices and what it means for Black and Brown people.
I was able to explore some of New Orleans and see for myself the beautiful culture and hear about the rich history from the mouths of Black New Orleanians take pride in. The entire time I was surrounded by so much art and love.
I also got a chance to attend Colin Kaepernick's Know your rights camp (My thoughts on that will come later) and yes he's super tall and he gives the best hugs. *swoons* I even got to meet and talk to chamillionaire, I asked him to pay off my student debt loans. He laughed. I was serious. Moving on....
This year is my year two. I am slowing down-- I'm staying local, turning inward and doing everything I love for FUN. Being a mother, writer, blogger/vlogger, lover, friend, etc. for fun because people are more responsive when they see my love and drive for my children and all the work that I do from the Beauty industry to the Education field. Here I will highlight my experiences as a Black Mother, Black Educator, Lover and Black writer.
I am more intentional about documenting my children as they experience life. When I first curated Millennial Mocha Moms I created it as a safe space for Mothers of color; so you didn't have to feel alone about your mental breakdowns, questions about life, experiences around motherhood and some cheats and treats for enjoying life in the meantime.
I want to do better connecting my writings to our children. I'll talk more about the world through Tatiyana who is eight almost nine years old eyes and the struggles Jahara my two year old and I have on our never ending journey to potty train.
So here I am, taking life a day at a time. One Blog post, one video and one classroom at a time. Dismantling white supremacy, teaching Black babies communication, highlighting the best mascaras while being the best mother I can be; all at the same damn time.
#IllBeInTouch
I needed a break
I'm in this weird headspace that most 25 (and a half -- yikes!) year olds are probably in; I'm suffering from imposter syndrome, 'Oh God why am I still home attacks', fuckthisjobbutIlovemyjobfluenza, etc. etc. On New Years eve while everyone was making resolutions I was freaking out about what mine would be.
Is it weightloss? We've been down this road girl (this is what I tell myself and I am taking it a day at a time)
Pay off our credit cards? *stares at bills* Yes, definitely
Move out? Me: GIRL, Yes! My bank account: SITCHOGAHDAMNASSDOWNYOUGOTMOVEOUTMONEY?!
The list goes on, the point is I functioned at a percentage of thirty-six the first week and a half of the year because I felt like I had no goals. I've been unsure about the content that I wanted to curate for Millennial Mocha Moms. I truly have been in this mindset that everything has to be perfect. An auntie in my life reminded that when God finished creating the earth he said it was GOOD he ain't say anything about perfect.
The second week into January, I thought "why am I trying to be 'perfect' when good is just enough?" So when it came to making resolutions which sounds like life is a problem, I decided to take every day as an opportunity to love on myself, do what I can and be proud of the good work I have done.
As a mother, change agent, restorative practices specialist, friend, spouse, the list goes on.
I decided this year I would turn inward; address my trauma in regard to my family, finances, my body, spirit, etc. I made the choice that these are not resolutions but instead my self-care (Yes, paying down my 500.00 Torrid credit card is self-care imagine my blood pressure when less of my paycheck will go to that!)
What has come from that
With us being one month into the year, many opportunities have opened up for me. I've decided to branch out to youtube -- thats right! I've created my beauty channel: Beauty By Barbs and I plan to have my first tutorial up soon! Please go and subscribe!
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| Jackie Sumell and Kenny Stills |
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| Bilphena Yawon |
I was able to explore some of New Orleans and see for myself the beautiful culture and hear about the rich history from the mouths of Black New Orleanians take pride in. The entire time I was surrounded by so much art and love.
I also got a chance to attend Colin Kaepernick's Know your rights camp (My thoughts on that will come later) and yes he's super tall and he gives the best hugs. *swoons* I even got to meet and talk to chamillionaire, I asked him to pay off my student debt loans. He laughed. I was serious. Moving on....
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| Dillard University |
To wrap this up...
This year is my year two. I am slowing down-- I'm staying local, turning inward and doing everything I love for FUN. Being a mother, writer, blogger/vlogger, lover, friend, etc. for fun because people are more responsive when they see my love and drive for my children and all the work that I do from the Beauty industry to the Education field. Here I will highlight my experiences as a Black Mother, Black Educator, Lover and Black writer.
I am more intentional about documenting my children as they experience life. When I first curated Millennial Mocha Moms I created it as a safe space for Mothers of color; so you didn't have to feel alone about your mental breakdowns, questions about life, experiences around motherhood and some cheats and treats for enjoying life in the meantime.I want to do better connecting my writings to our children. I'll talk more about the world through Tatiyana who is eight almost nine years old eyes and the struggles Jahara my two year old and I have on our never ending journey to potty train.
So here I am, taking life a day at a time. One Blog post, one video and one classroom at a time. Dismantling white supremacy, teaching Black babies communication, highlighting the best mascaras while being the best mother I can be; all at the same damn time.
#IllBeInTouch